Estranged housewife battles presidential aide over child custody

A presidential aide, Ibidapo Oyewole, has been dragged before the Family Court of the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, by his estranged wife, Dooshima Oyewole, over the custody of their child.

In an application marked C/295/25, filed pursuant to Section 69(1) of the Child Rights Act, 2003, Dooshima seeks an order for joint legal and physical custody of their child, as well as the child’s maintenance between her and Oyewole.

Dooshima, in a 37-paragraph affidavit filed before the court, revealed that she and Oyewole got married at the marriage registry of the Abuja Municipal Area Council, FCT, on May 28, 2011.

She said the marriage was blessed with a son, who is currently in the sole custody of Oyewole, who, she alleged, had denied her access to the child.

Dooshima stated that the marriage did not immediately produce a child, a situation that exposed her to intense pressure, making her to make several adjustments, including resigning from her job as a journalist and radio broadcaster.

“After six months of trying to conceive without success, I embarked on a challenging and traumatic seven-year fertility journey involving various invasive gynaecological treatments across Abuja, Lagos, and the United Kingdom.

“I was falsely made to believe that the reason for not conceiving lay with me and was subjected to numerous scans, surgeries, and rounds of IVF, leading to significant weight gain and the need for hormonal therapy.

“I adhered to strict health regimes and faced immense financial, physical, and emotional abuse from the respondent (Oyewole) throughout this period, attending medical visits alone most of the time.

“I secured £35,000  in medical funding from the British government for fertility treatments through East Sussex County National Health Service, during which it was revealed that the primary cause of our inability to conceive was Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, as confirmed by a medical report from Esperance Hospital.

“This diagnosis was likely known to the respondent (Oyewole), as his previous six-year marriage did not produce any children,” she said.

Dooshima further alleged that throughout the IVF procedure and successful pregnancy in the United Kingdom, Oyewole abandoned her and relocated to Nigeria to take up professional and financially lucrative opportunities with McKinsey & Company, an American multinational management consulting firm.

“During this time, I endured financial and emotional deprivation and had to take up employment to support myself. I also received support from the local church community at the Holy Trinity Anglican Church Eastbourne,” Dooshima added.

Dooshima explained that in May 2017, when she was 28 weeks pregnant, Oyewole visited the United Kingdom.

“During this visit, I endured significant tension, verbal abuse, and emotional distress caused by Oyewole’s actions. As a result, I developed life-threatening pregnancy complications, leading to pre-term labour and a spontaneous vaginal delivery.

“The respondent abandoned me while I was in active labour, bleeding, and in pain, leaving for Nigeria without making any arrangements for my care or for me to get to the hospital for medical attention.

“I was assisted by the local church community to get to the hospital for delivery. The only child of the marriage was born on May 30, 2017, weighing 900 grams, extremely premature.

“Due to the need for intensive medical care, the baby and I spent 12 weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Trevor Mann Baby Unit at the Royal Sussex County Hospital Brighton and Special Care Baby Unit Conquest Hospital, St. Leonards On-Sea, from May to August 2017, to address risks associated with pre-term birth and postpartum care to regulate my blood pressure,” Dooshima said.

She claimed that Oyewole only visited twice from Nigeria and added that from 2017 until December 2019, when she was pressured by him to resign from her job and return to Nigeria, she juggled the demands of motherhood with meeting her financial needs and pursuing her bachelor’s degree in the UK.

“I was the primary caregiver to the child. In December 2021, Oyewole physically assaulted me in the presence of his 67-year-old mother… His aged mother was unable to calm him during his fit of rage and had to call his elder sister to intervene.

“Oyewole rained abuses on his elder sister during the phone call, after which she advised me to flee for my life. All efforts to calm Oyewole down during this attack were unsuccessful, and I was forced to leave the family residence at night without my personal belongings while being denied access to our child, who was locked up in a room.

“Between December 2021 and February 2022, we were separated and underwent several sessions of counselling and mediation with lawyers and family members, but none of these efforts resolved the issues in the relationship. Throughout this period, Oyewole denied me access to the child. Security guards were instructed not to let me in,” she added.

Dooshima is now requesting that the court grant her joint legal custody of their child until he reaches adulthood.

“The applicant shall have unrestricted access to the child during the academic school year while the child resides with the respondent in Abuja, Nigeria. The child shall not be removed from Abuja without the applicant’s knowledge and consent. The child will reside with the respondent during the academic year and shall spend the school holidays with the Applicant.

“If the respondent relocates from Abuja for any reason, including temporary work secondments, official assignments, fellowships, or pursuing an academic degree, the child shall immediately relocate to the United States to reside with the applicant during the academic school year and have holiday visitation with the respondent.

“If the respondent decides to remarry before the child reaches adulthood on May 30, 2035, the child shall immediately relocate to the United States to reside with the applicant during the academic school year and have holiday visitation with the respondent.

“The respondent will bear 50% of the financial responsibility for the child’s welfare, including accommodation, tuition fees, extracurricular activities, health insurance, clothing, feeding, pocket money, and transportation,” Dooshima stated.

The court has yet to fix a date for a hearing.